In November, during a podcast appearance, rapper T.I. stated that he accompanied his daughter, Deyjah Harris, to the gynecologist.
His purpose was to make sure the physician implemented the “virginity tests” to his daughter. T.I. wanted the doctor to “check her hymen.” This upfront, no remorseful statement caught wind among talk shows and daytime television as many women didn’t like the idea of a father expressing that bit of information, let along accompanying his daughter for that visit purpose.
Now New York lawmakers want to ban “virginity tests.”
New York Assemblywoman Michaelle Solages, who sponsored the justification section of the bill, called his comments “misogynistic” and “appalling,” CBS News reports.
“If a celebrity can impose his power to ensure his 18-year-old daughter gets checked, imagine what can be done in households across New York state?” Solages said, CBS News reports.
According to the identical bills filed in the New York State Senate and New York State Assembly, licensed medical practitioners would be banned “from performing or supervising virginity examinations and subjects any medical practitioner who does perform or supervise such performance to professional misconduct penalties as well as possible criminal charges,” CBS News reports.
“These examinations are not only a violation of women’s and girls’ human rights, but in cases of rape can cause additional pain and mimic the original act of sexual violence, leading to re-experience, re-traumatization and re-victimization,” according to the justification section of the bill, CBS News reports. [BET]
If I were her doctor, I would ask her how she feels about him, the doctor informing her father about the results of her exam, and assure her that there is no way he would tell her father anything she didn’t feel comfortable with.
A parent only needs to know if the child is healthy. They do not need to know absolutely every detail of their child’s life. The parent can ask the child and support the child, but the child should not be embarrassed into shame by the parent and doctor discussing the child like an object.
I have two daughters; we will NEVER do anything like this. As much as I am afraid of all the possible ways they can get themselves into trouble, this is crossing a major line. We have a long way to go until they’re ready for ‘the talk’ or anything like it, but we’ll try to make sure they always feel comfortable talking to us and not overreacting to things we learn along the way.
But at the end of the day, our daughters will grow up to be women, and they will be independent. I want them to be safe and secure, and when it comes time to make those decisions, I want them to be confident and informed ones, even if they aren’t the ones I would personally make for them.
Hopefully, they’ll make the ‘right’ choices, but their decisions will be their own, and I will never force some group exams on them. That’s just awful.
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