A friend once said “The best gift you can give your children is to have a good relationship with your spouse.” I thought, “Wow! Gee, that is just about the most introspective, most meaningful thing I’ve ever heard regarding child rearing!” Before that, I thought that giving one’s kids the gift of self-sufficiency was number one! Okay, well, it’s still up there – like, number two. But when you think about my friend’s words of wisdom (and I cannot say exactly where she got them from), they really make a ton of sense. And in the context of where we are going in America today, the downward spiral we have caused by virtue of the left’s radical social agenda, these words are more important than you may know. I mean, how else are we to raise solid, well-adjusted kids who will grow up to be caring, daring, & proud patriotic American citizens if not from the example we set for them?
In the beginning of America, we had these dudes called Founding Fathers. Memba them? Yeah, yeah, the guys with the funny hair and curly penmanship. Right. Those dudes. Well, despite that they probably could have used a vat of Dippity Doo and a wagonload of Bic pens, they were geniuses – they were pillars – and most notably, they were dubbed “fathers” for good reason. I suppose we could have called them anything like “the guys who started up the country” or “the CEOs of America” – but we didn’t. We called them “fathers” because the term connotes strength — deep, natural strength, and the ability to embrace us and guide us and give us the resources we need to thrive. So, then, why is it that the importance of fathers has largely fallen by the wayside? Why is it that we, as a country, have embraced the idea that it is a-ok to have fatherless families? And what is the price we are paying for this cultural shift?
To answer the first question, I point to the civil rights and women’s movements and how they brought about significant cultural change. And most of it was positive change. But what about the down side? There’s always a down side. In this case, it is the way the pendulum has swung so far to the left as to hit good old dad in the touchas, knocking him right out of the family unit. Sure, not all family units. In fact, most family units are still comprised of both a mother and father. Thank God! But borne out of the left’s good (and bad) intentions, came this mentality that somehow women were all encompassing, superheroes who could bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan…uh huh, I saw that ad SO many times…that I believed it. So did scads of other women. And they took to the frying pan big time…’cept they weren’t cooking…they were busy using them to hit their perhaps cheating, dead beat, or otherwise not-so-stellar husbands over the heads instead of maybe trying to work things out for the good of the family – because they could.
That brings us to the question as to how it is we’ve come to accept this power shift as the norm? How is it that so many women have to come to believe that they and they alone are all it takes to raise a child?
Certainly there were enough women who, by then, had cause to take up their frying pans in rebellion. Up until the 60’s, women were still predominantly chattel. But no sooner did this provocative trend of female independence burgeon that our friends, the lawyers, quickly ceased upon the opportunity to “help” these poor, defenseless women get what was deservedly theirs. Sure, under particular circumstances, namely in cases of abuse, this was a Godsend. But as with all good intentions is the road to hell paved. Without going off into a long dissertation here, let’s face it my fellow American patriots, lawyers have – in the way that only they know how – managed to make an extraordinarily lucrative, still booming industry out of breaking families apart. Folks, I’ve seen it, I’ve witnessed it, I’ve watched it unfold over and over and over again. I sat in family court here in my now disappointingly blue home state of New Jersey for 12 years watching my husband, a truly wonderful father to his son, get beaten over the head by the court as if he was a hardened criminal. It was absolutely abhorrent. It was heartbreaking. And I suffered right along with him every step of the way as my stepson became a casualty of the courts. My husband became, as many men ‘of the system’ do, a walking cash machine. Pay up and here’s your 3 hours – then go away til the next payment is due. Don’t have money cause you lost your job through no fault of your own? Oh…you were away serving our country? Sorry. ACCESS DENIED. After seeing so very many seemingly caring fathers being beaten down like rabid raccoons, I sat aghast watching what I finally concluded was nothing more than a big ol scam being perpetrated on the American family for the sake of the almighty dollar. But I digress. In keeping with the brevity of this piece, let’s just say that countless dads all over the country pay dearly for their choices no matter how crazy or devious or ill-equipped mom might be – while mom insists that the kids are better off without dad. Though, make no mistake, in all fairness, this is not necessary a war intentionally waged on men for their gender. It is a byproduct of their financial standing. Men generally (at least traditionally) have the money to fund the family court industry, hence are the prime targets. I personally know women who, as the family breadwinners, have found themselves, of recent, in the very same position. And they are genuinely shocked when the tables turn on them! Really? Nevertheless, the bottom line is that as long as there is money to be made and as long as one’s children can be held over his/her head as ransom, the family court machine will continue to roll full steam ahead and the country will indeed suffer. For now dear old dad is still wearing the bullseye and George Washington is, no doubt, spinning like a top in his grave.
So, what is the price we pay for all of this left-wing lunacy?
While mothers are the cozy center of the family, much like the kitchen, the hearth, fathers are like the structural beams, the pillars that hold up the roof over the family’s heads, the one thing that reliably wards off the harsh elements and predators. Take dad out of the picture, and you’ve seriously diminished the integrity of the family home in irreparable ways. Some of you might think, heck, mothers can do both jobs, women are perfectly capable of such duality. Yeah, sure. I thought that back when I was a staunch liberal. In fact, I thought it was perfectly acceptable to have children without a physical father figure and to then go right back to one’s career without missing a beat. What the hell was I thinking? (I’ll reserve that answer for another article wherein I will talk about how my own absentee father was the impetus for my leftist political leanings and the painful life course my ideology therefrom set me on.) For now, I will say that it is not acceptable to think that any one person – man or woman – could do alone the job that God intended for each of them to perform together. There are serious consequences. Both on an economic level as well as a psychological one. For now, I will focus on the economic one.
So dad is out of the picture. All over America, especially in the lower income districts, this means poverty, it means crime, it means fatherless girls who will fall prey to teenage pregnancy – or, as we’ve seen in recent years, pre-teen pregnancy as young as 9 and 10. Who pays for this? We all do. The consequences for the kids themselves? There are no words. For the American citizenry at large, fatherlessness equates to the exacerbation of the further deterioration of America as the left boohoos its way into our wallets and expects us to sit and tolerate it. Taxes rise to support all of the myriad social programs whilst the hard-working folks who painstakingly toil to keep it all together for the betterment of their own intact families are essentially punished for the lackadaisical and downright punitive manner in which we have come to operate in taking care of the so-called underrepresented and disadvantaged. This is a recipe for disaster that breeds resentment. Just look at how our illustrious president, ‘loving, doting father of two’ Barack Obama, continues to divide us over economic lines, what, with his income inequality line of hooey, his thus far failed attempt at income redistribution via Obamacare, and his Kool-Aid drinking followers’ ubiquitous promotion of many of the not-so-prudent societal behaviors that threw us off course in the first place. The truth is that the societal ills he eludes to ad nauseum are, for the most part, the result of the disappearing dad, not the mean, crotchety, out-of-touch, stingy, old, rich, whites guys who care so little about humanity that they’d rather see little children die of starvation than dig into their deep pockets to help. What a bunch a flippin hogwash! If not for the job creation and philanthropic generosity of so many of those men, those fathers, those patriotic Americans, we would be a heck of a lot worse off than I think any of us could ever imagine.
So, the next time anyone tries to convince you that Father Does Not Know Best and that he has gone by the way of the dinosaur and that the economic quagmire within which we’ve gotten ourselves is somehow apart from the integrity of the intact (albeit I hate the term but will use it anyway) ‘nuclear’ family. Stop. Think. If not for the good of this great nation we call home, if not for your love of country, then at the very least for the sake of the children who will one day be passed the baton of stewardship in preserving America as the greatest nation on the face of God’s green earth. Think about the importance of our Founding Fathers – think about the importance of yours.
Teresa Zerilli-Edelglass is one of the newest members of Team News Ninja. She is the author of the explosive new book: Thrown Under The Bus: The Rise And Fall Of An American Worker, a provocative, tell-all, cautionary true story for all patriotic Americans! Read it — and be warned.