A Kansas father has had enough of the traditional messy custody battle with his ex-wife and now he’s looking to settle things the really old fashioned way…

He’s now seeking the courts permission to settle the ugly child custody case “on the field of battle” with an actual sword fight – using Japanese swords.

David Ostrom said in court papers that his ex-wife Bridgette Ostrom and her attorney have already destroyed him legally.

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“I now wish to give them the chance to meet me on the field of battle, where I will REND THEIR SOULS from their … bodies,” Ostrom wrote in the court filing, according to a local newspaper.

He then went on to ask the judge for a three-month delay so he could get his hands on some Japanese samurai swords for the trial by combat.

Ostrom, of Paola, said he got the idea after seeing the New York case of Richard Luthmann, the Staten Island attorney who also sought trial by combat to settle a beef with another lawyer and his clients.

“To this day, trial by combat has never been explicitly banned or restricted as a right in these United States,” Ostrom argued in court records, adding that it was used “as recently as 1818 in British Court.”

He told the Des Moines Register that his wife could choose her attorney as her “champion” to stand in for her in battle.

“I think I’ve met Mr. Hudson’s absurdity with my own absurdity,” he told the paper. “If Mr. Hudson is willing to do it, I will meet him. I don’t think he has the guts to do it.”

Hudson referred to himself as the “potential combatant” in his own cheeky legal response filed in Shelby County District Court.

“Although the respondent and potential combatant do have souls to be rended, they respectfully request that the court not order this done,” Hudson wrote, according to the reports.

He noted that the “potentially life-ending ramifications” of a duel “surely outweigh” their fight over property tax and custody issues.

Judge Craig Dreismeier wasn’t amused.

“Until the proper procedural steps to initiate a court proceeding are followed, this court will take no further action concerning any motion, objection or petition filed by either party at this time,” the judge ruled. [New York Post]

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